A LETTER OF GRATITUDE FOR THE PEOPLE FROM HOLLYWOOD WHO BELIEVED IN ME WHEN NO ONE DID

(24/5/24, 6.45 pm)

Initially, I did this to provide a better future for everyone, to rid us of the corruption & tyranny that has crippled & decayed society. No one knew how much I suffered. Idiots on the internet were cracking stupid jokes thinking that mean words were enough to cause permanent psychological damage. I hope that damaged person doesn’t become him one day & it most likely will. Some people really need an education. I hate it when they give opinions on a subject they know nothing about.

But what’s the point arguing? It’s mostly them anyway. It’s just annoying to see such dumb comments as soon as I open YouTube. If I really cared about what he said, I’d track him down for revenge. But I have bigger fish to fry, whether it be a trial, or a lawsuit. I’ll just get him through that way because he’ll feel it more. I had suffered ALL forms of abuse, including physical.

Then I remembered something I said back then that became true: “the people will only love you when you’re hitting. But they’ll so much as spit on you when you’re not”. I got that from Wesley Snipes’ line in the movie “The Fan”. I always remembered it. My god, he was right. I knew it anyway but I now see it for myself.

   For so long, I asked myself “Why am I doing this for people who don’t appreciate me?” Sure I won’t lie, people did express their gratitude through music while others made tributes to express appreciation back then but once I was poisoned, they turned on me in seconds & started laughing at my pain & sufferings, through no fault of my own. All this to save such fickle people? Some even pushed past me in the supermarkets.

Every day, I woke up thinking, “Why the hell am I doing it for people who don’t appreciate what I or others do for them, that we suffer in their place for them? I don’t need thanks, but some common courtesy & empathy would’ve been nice. They knew that I was poisoned. It was in nearly every diary entry. They read it religiously, but now that they think they know everything (actually, they know nothing), they don’t care that I keep pushing for them.

They’ve robbed me of my book & now they don’t even want to show that gratitude back, just by viewing my work on the internet? It doesn’t cost them a cent. Maybe just a minute of their time to sign in, if even that. I get the feeling they’re doing it out of spite. Like those mysognists who got blasted by me. I didn’t realise they quickly deleted all their messages! Omg, how funny is that! Avoiding the verbal slaughter lol. But I don’t want their opinions or views anyway. I want my place to be a safe haven for everyone.

For people who get too comfortable with copyright violations, what does it say about their respect for other’s belongings? They’ve already deprived me of earnings for that, then they don’t care if I earn money from this. I don’t know what to think of today’s society. They’re incredibly selfish & I realised now that I’m not going to keep risking my ass for people like that. Someone apparently agreed & said something very similar. I’ll do it for those who believed in me & became my true friends.

At first, they went batshit nuts over that girl who killed her mum because she abused her. Everyone wanted a piece of her. But when she became viral & started rubbing shoulders with celebrities & made income for herself, that’s when they turned on her. It happens a lot, unless you’re a well-established celebrity. I don’t know much about it but I don’t care about the limelight or fame. It doesn’t interest me anymore.

This is what’s become of today’s society. It’s a sad, selfish, miserable place where bullying & insults are commonplace because there are no consequences for their words. These people have no right to get angry after they read this because I’m right. I almost always make sure I’m right & that’s why it’s so hard to argue with me. We always make sure we come out on top. It’s just in our nature. I think this is a typical trait of either charismatic people, or people who adopt the champion mindset. I saw it in a documentary about charisma & winners. I’m an incredibly persuasive person, but I do it for the right reasons only.

I have trouble waking up & getting through the day these days, not enjoying what sacrifices I must make for people whose loyalty is as fickle as the tides come & go. Have you seen the hate they give to Ashton Kutcher & his company that helps save children who are forced into sex slavery?(if memory serves me).

They jeered at him too, even though he was doing something worth being proud of. I certainly was cheering for him & I was thankful too. It could be my child he saves. You know why they jeered? Because they’re jealous that people like us are the ones who can make it happen. We’ve worked hard to earn the knowledge & skills they can’t be stuffed earning. Basically why these lazy bastards were waiting for me to do the work for them. Maybe Ashton & I can be friends one day. Similar intelligence.

   The internet has changed society in a very bad way. The people have lost their way. They’ve become self-entitled, selfish & incredibly rude. Not everyone of course. But enough to see the difference. Gone is the chivalry, the respect for each other & the desire to be great & ambitious. People like me are mocked at & unappreciated. They mock Hollywood, but are they any better? Honestly, I’d choose Hollywood movies & soundtracks over the internet any day. So why do I keep going when I could just move straight onto lawsuits but didn’t?

My friends from Hollywood were the only ones who saw me when I was invisible & believed in me when no one else did. While people would kill to even talk to one of the elites who came to support me, I somehow got so lucky. And the more people came to realise what kind of person I was & the kind of achievements I’ve made in the past, the more Hollywood elites noticed too. In fact, I think that’s why they came. Seriously, I think it takes one to know one. It’s the only thing I can think of for why I was graced with such honour. I was doing something special for the world too. And for my daughter. For myself, I wanted to become immortal. I wanted my name to go down in history like these elites would. But I’m kinda in my “infancy”, while they’re well-established & I’m not there yet. If it were the other way round, I’d honestly choose these guys to support too, we’re on the same page & because I’m a fan of their work. I remember acknowledging them for supporting me & how much I appreciated it. I think it really touched them, just like when I realised who I really was doing this for.

   At first, the world didn’t believe I had any skills until the stories of my victories & incidents came in & so did the evidence. I even demonstrated how good my counter surveillance skills were on camera. People were in awe. It literally took microseconds to hone in on my opponents, or to spot an undercover. I was very quick. There were funny moments when I confronted gang members or rough-looking suspects. One of them spat on me & I said “Thanks for the DNA”. But it’s also the amount of intelligence I had gathered, the evidence & the conclusions I came to, after much deep consideration.

   My friends stuck by me through thick & thin till the very end & never left me alone to deal with the horror by myself. You have no idea how happy I was to hear from them every day. Despite being weak & confused from the poison, I remember just hearing from them, a message even & it gave me that extra strength to keep going. I can’t believe how lucky I was & still am.

  They were the only ones who offered me help when I was in trouble. I really was in trouble when they offered. I had been infected with a virus, was poisoned heavily by that stage & could barely keep going. Maybe the virus might’ve been a concern to them though. I just needed the cure, which I got later anyway (they just weren’t happy about giving it, the evil pricks).

   I knew at that moment, that they were my true friends. I want to name them to give credit where it’s due, but it’s a dangerous time for now, even though you guys are far more powerful than they are. It’s so tempting but let’s keep the suspense going for a bit yeah? They’re expecting big names & they’ll get it. I’ll reveal it when the bad guys are in prison & some are on their way to Maximum Security.

   I couldn’t love or thank them any more than when they offered a way out. The only way I could express anything to them, was to press the song, “You’re my best friend” by Queen so they could hear it. It was partly our way of communicating with each other, but it also was the suspects’ way too.Who would do that for me or for anyone else? No one would. People thought I was friends with these people just for bragging rights? No, I’m not like them. My love, admiration & appreciation runs much deeper than that.I even hope we can be friends again in the next lifetime. Well actually, forever if they wished it too – unless they get sick of me lol. That’s how much they mean to me.

   And now they know the truth about how I really feel about them & how important they were/are to me, even after all these years. They thought I had forgotten about them. There are songs I avoided listening because it was a painful reminder of them. Some of these people’s songs in my honour were some of their greatest hits. It’s amazing what happens when you lift the human spirit.

   I just remembered I gotta thank them too. It’s just that one of them seemed really upset I let him down, but now he knows the truth. And I haven’t given up because of them & every other person who believed in me. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let them down like that. Plus there are other victims praying that I’ll pull through.

   I really wish I was there with you guys, hanging with you, chatting something intelligent & thought-provoking, or laughing about my stupid jokes & how I can’t get names & words right.You know I named Hans Zimmer with Zimmerman, like the piano brand! He probably laughed about that one too. Someone later displayed his album in full view & I sheepishly went back to fix the name, hoping he didn’t notice. He’s probably the one who sent it! Or someone else who noticed lol. Thanks, whoever sent it. But I thought it was a funny coincidence, so I retold the story to you guys anyway.

   Or we could be talking big ideas/projects & making it happen together where I can help with the production, than be here dealing with jealous, lazy people who made me do all the work & never once were grateful for what I did for them. The sacrifices I made & for what? To be met with constant spite, jealousy & revenge? I know I’d be appreciated there more.

   And happier too. Much happier. I can be my old self again & fully believe in myself because I’m surrounded by positive people who will encourage me to believe in myself again. That unshakable positivity & self-belief I once had. Tom was right. He reminded me that I needed to find that self-belief & self-confidence (again). I’ve always admired his. I guess he could see I’ve lost it somewhere along the way. I want to be around like-minded people, who I can also trust with my life in… For once. To think Tom & I almost became rivals, until I confessed that I wanted to be just like him when I was young! He was so mean to me! But in his defence, I said something silly while I was poisoned. I had little control over what I said. It’s funny I still remember that.

   My supporters once commended me for my unshakeable positivity. That was who I am before all this. But then I lost so much self-belief because of jealousy & spite, where people refused to help me even though it was their job. No no, I confused that with hope, I still have self-belief. Now they foolishly make fun of my traumas when my sufferings were originally for them.

   Not anymore. It’s for my daughter & for the people who believed in me. If my supporters had stayed loyal, I would’ve done it for them too. After all, I had promised I’d come back for them. No wonder I lost that desire to risk all. I no longer had a purpose. It was supposed to be for my child too, but I hadn’t spoken to her for a long time. By the time I saw her, I barely recognised her. The years had gone by.

   I was afraid to call her because of the threats I had received. That man on tv had been listening on my phone, trying to find out where she was, turning around to his mates as though he had lots of fake power, saying “We’re doing well there, yeah?” Like I really cared! Why was he showing off & bragging to me? Just a few days before, he was saying some of the most derogatory things to me. You’ll have to get used to this word, it’s used alot when it comes to these people. You know, bottom of the barrel behaviour.

Dunno how they got their jobs because one minute with me & I’d fire them with a soap in their mouths. No one in the government picked up his dodgy behaviour? If I see him in person, Lord help him. It’s so easy to hide behind a computer or a tv screen. Be a man & face me in person. No weapons. I’ll finish you myself.   

  Before disaster struck, I managed. I wasn’t exactly happy, but I wasn’t poisoned at the time & let’s just say I do really well on my own. But once more & more betrayed me over the most prettiest reasons like jealousy & was denied help, Even a commenter regretfully agreed that people have become selfish, greedy & egotistical. But at least I came back from the dead to make my friends proud. It was the first thing on my mind anyway. I couldn’t do that to the people who believed in me, including my former PM. I honestly didn’t want to name It wasn’t because my friends were elites & rich or anything. I keep forgetting they are. I actually don’t know what their financial worths are because to me, that’s their money not mine & I’m not interested in it. I’ve never looked up their worth ever. To me, your financial worth doesn’t tell you what you’re really worth because I’ve seen rich but extremely bad, egotistical people who brag about money all day & I’ve seen poor people who are diamonds in the rough. My father veers towards evil but he’s not a totally evil man & there’s some good in him. I wish to rise above that. To me, respect or a kind word is even more valuable to me than money.

   Unfortunately, not all rich people are nice people. I recall a wealthy man from GB who scoffed at Hollywood & called them second-grade. During my darkest hours, some of the rich, obnoxious men were bragging about how big their houses were, compared to mine. Don’t ask me why. What an meaningless power trip. One idiot even made fun of how small my room was. It’s actually a normal size for the average house.

   While I counter- surveillanced, I was disgusted that some rich artist had to take a jab at my neighbourhood. The houses here are worth over $1 million. But to them, they have a $20 million house. So bloody what? Their house is bigger, so what?! What a flex. You know, the people would skin you alive if you rubbed your wealth in their faces 24-7. Like I care! Turns out they were making fun of the daughter of a wealthy man who just wants to earn things by herself & make something of herself. No one really respects you for sticking your hand out for money. I even had people accusing me of doing it just because my father’s wealthy. I think I’ve made my point now. I admire each & every one of my friends who believed in me. This was the true reason why I love & appreciate them. The admiration had always been there for their exquisite work, but it only grew stronger once I got to know what great human beings they are. It annoys me to see them being spoken poorly of. Sometimes I want to defend them & I most likely will when I come across a bad comment.

If the investigators are so desperate for someone to blame, why don’t you grab that person who said they weren’t going to help me succeed & the one who said I wasn’t special enough. These are the points that’ll win in my favour anyway. Someone needs to take the blame & I’m done being your scapegoat. You’re on your own, so find your own. I want nothing to do with you sad sad lot. You’ve embarassed Australia with your spiteful behaviour just because of jealousy for a person whose job you can’t even do. Not many can without my guidance. It’s pathetic. Stop blaming me, I’m done with you ungrateful people. How dare you talk to me like you’re my boss & you can bark orders at me, abuse me & manipulate me into obedience whenever you want. You have overlooked how much power you really have over people. You let them bully me, so deal with it. You took advantage of a time when I was vulnerable & apologising out of courtesy for yelling but now I’m not sorry after what all of you put me through. It was a victim’s ultimate nightmare to somehow end up back in the murderous grasps of a treating team who was clearly bribed by DHS to say I was delusional. I got no help anywhere, it made me cry just remembering how vicious everyone was to me for no reason other than to save their own skin. I don’t know how they thought they could get away with it. I saw it coming anyway. I know you’ve logged in ILLEGALLY to this app UNINVITED, so find an alternative & get the hell out of my life. I’m no longer on your team & therefore, I don’t need to protect you. Even though I don’t want to publish this stuff anymore, I’m just testing something this time. You’ve embarassed me way more than I needed to be. I can’t believe you can try to pass blame on the poisoned victim! How much lower can you go? Perhaps this job isn’t right for you. It’s amazing how many lines of yours managed to boomerang. You spend more time mocking me with quotes & videos calling me lazy & it turns out you’re the lazy ones. A bunch of cops sitting there, just waiting for the victim to do all the risk taking & intelligence gathering. Wow,just wow. So they lied to our PM about me & kept him from knowing about the poison. Or you misinformed him in your desperate pursuit for revenge because I embarassed you for reminding you about the poisonings in front of everyone, but you still did nothing anyway. Which kinda means the revenge was over nothing. What was it for then? You told me about your little revenge plan on tv so don’t deny it. How do I know that you wanted those urines to show nothing to “prove” me wrong about being poisoned? Would you really go that far? It seems so because you’re blaming me not the suspects for tricking you. That’s bizarre. You didnt just misinform our PM, you misinformed the man I loved back then & I lost him. Then you sent a video about getting over rejection, even though I only just mentioned I lost friends because of those negative results. Why do you have to degrade people & assassinate their character? I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you. Quit dreaming that I’ll take the blame. You wanted it this way so pay the consequences for your little revenge plan. Pity you gloated about it to me. “Aggression towards staff?” You thought you were on a winner & you spread to everyone that I don’t get along with anyone. What kind of nightmare was I living in, where the man entrusted to help me, was also the one hurting & abusing me? OMG, I honestly had hoped the “employee” reference to me was done by the white supremacist. It seems you’re a racist too. And you work for IBAC? For real? And no one noticed your language & violent or abusive behaviour? What the hell does my teeth have anything to do with you? I know these words are cutting into you like no other. Your little revenge is now out in the open & it’s about time your colleagues accepted what I’m saying to them. Throughout the entire investigation, I felt that I was in an untrustworthy environment? So many things didn’t add up. So many things I should’ve told my friend but couldn’t because I was poisoned & I was incoherent. A lovely Eurasian police officer kindly asked me for the details but being so sick, I couldn’t tell him much. It was one of the few moments of hope that slipped through my hands because I was incapacitated from the poison. Life is so cruel. Here was a kind young man who wanted to help me but I couldn’t talk properly. Meanwhile, his partner is under suspicion for telling the hospital to not test me, deny me assistance & kick me out immediately. That’s basically what they did. I’m just horrified that one of them even used a bodyguard to intimidate me into not asking for help again. I couldn’t believe what I saw. This blonde woman was denying me basic medical help. I know where her office, so she can get arrested. I remember her smirk when I asked “So you don’t care if I file a report against you to face an investigation or committee. She was smirking, as though she was convinced she wouldn’t get into trouble. As soon as they tricked me into providing my sister’s number, that’s it they kicked me out. They’re so desperate to not even give me a tampered result because I can use it for court. In terms of accomplices, it’s scary to think they care for us as a job, while denying someone else a life, let alone a cure or treatment for the poison. Turns out it was almost the opposite. Everyone refused to help me at someone’s behest. Someone in a sufficient position of power. Luckily, we don’t have many suspects to look into. The man who gave me the greasies with the new team, I wasn’t referring to you at all. I was even thinking of a different man to this guy, but he volunteered himself in the quotes looking really aggressive at me & threatening me. Bravo.Oh well, he volunteered the info.Yeah, that’s the guy who said how dare you to me over reminding him about the poison in front of everyone including Hollywood. I didn’t see it that way, he did. How embarrassing when I dumped them for good. Now they have  ZERO excuse to be here. They must get the information themselves. I know they won’t of course. Very few people have the same intelligence, skills & resilience as me. The ability to adapt to the environment & come up with solutions on the spot, come up with Plan Bs if all fails, that kind of stuff.Holy cow, how did I end up talking about you again? I can’t wait for the day when you’re out of my life. Stay the hell away from me, now that I’ve seen your true colours. OMG, the dentist ads! What nerve this guy has! We’re roughly the same age but he’s making fun of me?! What the hell is wrong with him?! Maybe your little plan is quickly falling to pieces. That’s some big allegations I’ve made here. Let’s hope I’m wrong. Time for me to discuss my friends. They’re more important to me. They’re more important to me because they’ve never lied to me, supported me all the way through & believed in me. They never once had bad intentions like I suspected you did. And you never understood why I valued them more. You kept ignoring me, they didn’t.

A lightbulb just went off in my head when I mentioned the people who believed in me & I remembered exactly why I really kept going, despite the rising odds. What they don’t know, is that I’ve been working hard on something to make me stronger & I wish I could say invincible but knowing these people, I can’t promise that one. They don’t play fair. You know, I’m so embarrassed for Australia that I had to witness the outright jealousy & shoving motives in my face about not helping me. I knew they were determined to turn the PM against me. Sorry I forgot to mention our former PM. Well they lied or misinformed both. All to spite me. This is Australia’s professionals can you believe it? They ignore everything you say, tell others not to help you & set me up & handed me over to DHS to deal with me. You can sort out any inaccuracies with me later if you have the balls to face me after all this. But you’re hiding behind a phone or computer, trying to never show your face because you’re up to no good. Why is it that whatever I see on tv, those threats, it happens exactly how it was threatened? A man who couldn’t stand being embarrassed in front of everyone for totally ignoring the poisonings because I said it too often or something? Whatever the case, I was dismayed to find out how remorseless & irresponsible he was. You know, if he had given me a heartfelt apology, I would have dropped the lawsuit against him. But he proceeded to carry out his threat by claiming I was aggressive towards his staff. Lemme guess, you dobbed on me to the PM about that one too, once again ignoring my cries for help about the poisonings. A man who spends more time getting his revenge than fixing his mistakes, is a man who shouldn’t be working for the government. I know you’re blocking the pages about you or the scandal because you don’t want everyone to know who was directly at fault for the failure of the investigation. I must admit I did better on my own because as a wise man said, “At least I know I could trust & rely on myself”. I’ve fulfilled the phrase “If you want it done properly, you do it yourself” (Denzel Washington’s line in Training Day & got an Academy award for). But it bungled up years later Apparently the State Government was involved but the one everyone hated: Daniel somebody? My god I can’t remember his name. I was just happy he fled a sinking boat. Well not really happy but just happy a woman took over & I think she’s much nicer than him. Well I hope so anyway. That’s unfortunately all I can say for now, to prepare me for what’s coming. It’s hard to keep a secret when people are yelling at you & making demands they have no right to ask me at all. I’m just a volunteer, who the hell are they to make me do all their work combined into one person for them? I’m doing the jobs of literally 10 people for free! It felt so good & satisfying to throw the order back in their faces & tell them to do what I did & succeed each time. I knew that they couldn’t do it. In this world, only 2.5% of people have the same level of intelligence. I beat the odds over & over, but still they kept barking orders & even blaming me. Who the hell do they think they are? Know your place gentlemen. Yeah that’s right, my line you threw at me, has been thrown back at you. You had no right to expect so much from me. I lost everything because you didn’t act on anything I said. Live with the consequences of your actions. You clung onto that pride of yours, insisted on holding me responsible & it turned out I was telling the truth the whole time. What I don’t get is why they’re making age discriminations when we’re around the same age, or they’re older? It makes no sense. I saw it with that vet on the Uber(?) ad too.

Anyway, let’s get back to what’s important. The people who believed in me. You must excuse me for branching off. I can’t seem to help it. My true friends, you were the ones who stuck by me right to the end of the investigation & something tells me you guys were so happy to hear me talk about how important you are to me. I’m so blessed to have been believed & supported by some of the greatest people alive. It’s a huge gift to take in. I don’t know what to say or how to thank you but I think I know what the answer is. I finish this because I want you to be proud of me, that you believed in me for the right reasons & make you proud back. At least that’s the start to showing my gratitude. I can’t let you down. We’ll worry about the banquet in another way lol! I’m going to win that lawsuit at all costs. I got a friend request from Hell’s Angels for some reason on Facebook. What an odd request. Regardless, I’m now so glad I haven’t mentioned many names & I’m glad I never reached out to you either yet. I’m giving it a day to see if people respond with reinforcement. I need it probably the most now. I just can’t believe I could have finished this ages ago if people listened & weren’t clouded by jealousy & resentment.