KARMA FINALLY CAME FOR MY EVIL EX

(10/4/24, 10.38 pm): My ex CL’s terrible demise is the most brutal display of karma I’ve ever seen. No one deserved it more than him. Both his physical & mental health had deteriorated to the point where he lost 40 kg, his spleen had malfunctioned, he’s been drinking heavily day & night, is now diagnosed as diabetic who needs insulin daily, has stopped taking his antipsychotics, was seen yelling at neighbours for no reason & is now living in a tent in the mountains to be away from people. He’s hit rock-bottom.

   I can’t believe that this is the same man I was with for 9 yrs. Then again, I was there when he first plunged into madness & darkness. I just didn’t know it’d spiral out of control. I had predicted Karma would hit him & I was expecting it. It hit him way harder than I thought. It was as though God knew what he had done to me & the only way to stop him from continuing the harm, was to punish him severely. Now he’s too sick to carry out any more threats. Even so, he knows it’s no use. I’ve happily moved on & I’m never coming back.

   If I was seeking revenge, I’d be laughing at his demise & celebrating with champagne. It sounds cruel until you read the abuse timeline, which’ll be laid bare in the book. He, his mum (PL) & my dad’s mother are the most evil people I’ve ever met. Once you finish reading it, you’ll agree that he deserves it. But this investigation was genuinely about seeking justice, not just for me, but for all the other victims of CP. I have no wish to kill my ex & the suspects. I just want them to finally face justice & take responsibility. Some are too dangerous to live amongst us. Those cops organised the poisonings. And the poison? Based on both what other victims have reported (including myself) & what the suspects gloated to me, it was sodium pentathol & cannabis. I had claimed this all along & everyone ignored me. Imagine being high on these 2 non-stop for 4 yrs. Sodium pentathol is easily accessible by interrogators in law enforcement who use it to get the truth from their subjects during interrogation. I had no control over what I spilt & much evidence was subsequently tampered with. Man, I gotta stop. The typing’s too slow.

   I’m not perfect, but I strive to be a good person. Upon hearing that he may die, great sadness & concern for his well-being swept over me. After all, he was my first love & the father of my child. I knew he did it not out of hatred, but bc he loved me too much to let go. Despite all he had done, I still care for him. But I don’t love him anymore. I loved him for the good times & despise him for the bad, which occurred far more often than good. Our photos only show half the truth. All you see is a happy couple & a handsome man who adores his girlfriend.

   I had several partners before him, but he was my first love, the first man I fell in love with. Initially, I wanted to marry him, until I saw his sadistic abusive side. There’s only so much you can blame on schizophrenia. It’s hard to forget & forgive a man who grins while confessing that he’s evil, after deceiving you into giving him money & then refused to return it. I could no longer love him unconditionally.

   Readers will tell me to not go back to him & they’re right. You should never give an abusive man a 2nd chance to harm you. But I empathize why victims do – they either still love/care for their abuser, or if they’re married, it’s not easy to just leave. Even I considered giving him a 2nd chance (I won’t). He’s not out partying, picking up other women. He’s home grieving over me & slowly killing himself.

   In our final year together, he asked me, “Why won’t you sleep in bed with me anymore?” I feel so sad for him now, remembering this. But he must know why! He can’t be that daft! It’s like he refused to acknowledge or remember the 9 yrs of abuse, as though he had selective memory. I genuinely have it bc our brains have limited storage, so I just memorise what’s important to me. 

   However, he does remember but simply chose to keep his conscience clean & play the victim. He was cruel & sadistic towards me & had destroyed my property when I didn’t give him attention. Together with his mother, they had set me up (or threatened to) with the police 8 times. That’s how manipulative & evil they are. I was already at a disadvantage BC I had a criminal history & they exploited it.

   I’m embarrassed for CP. Not only did they favour custody to the wrong parent, embarassing details of their infatuation with him & other scandalous stuff they did will come to light. And when I say scandalous, I mean exactly that. Their crimes were twisted & perverted. The readers are going to love this book. Everyone loves a good scandal that’s also an inspirational story. Every page or 2 will be about a scandal or crime they’ve committed, each one gets progressively worse. I’m mindblown that they’re cops & government employees.

   CP didn’t want to know the truth about him. They were either blinded by their infatuation with him, or determined to seek revenge or spite me for various reasons. I had repeatedly tried to show evidence that he was lying. They refused to see it. That way, they can say later that I should’ve told them about the abuse. Too bad, I can easily argue that. I’ll use those frustrating incidents to my advantage later. These people have alot to answer to about their unprofessional behaviour & incompetence.

   I’m surprised he didn’t reciprocate the women’s advances. But few could tolerate his crazy, spoilt antics for 1 wk anyway. He refused to move on bc to him, no one can replace me. It still doesn’t excuse his behaviour though. It just means I might forgive him one day. Depends if he’s remorseful. If not, then he’s learnt nothing & I don’t have to forgive him.

  When his dad RL explained that looking after our child took its toll on CL, I felt he was blaming me for his demise, even though CL did it to himself. PL said something that aligned with my suspicions. It dawned on me that both still weren’t taking responsibility for their actions & even lied that I abandoned him & our child. It makes my blood boil. It’s so typically 2-faced of them. If you lie too much, you’ll believe your own lies.

   If CL isn’t remorseful, he should go to prison. At least he’ll have food, his own room & staff to monitor his health. He’ll be forced to stop drinking too. It’s the most humane thing I can do for him if I care about him. It’s the only way I can save him too. The heavy drinking will destroy all his organs unless I intervene. I won’t stop the police from charging him if they do. After all, he & PL were the ones pulling everyone’s strings. There wouldn’t be a story to tell if they hadn’t carried out their threats.

    I feel so conflicted. To be kind, could also be the death of me. I’m not obliged to see him & I can’t risk it. I’d happily die doing what I love, but not from him. I have a life ahead of me, he’s destroying his. I also have to stay alive for my little girl. Maybe I’m paranoid right now, but he’s strangled me 5 times. This is narcissistic abuse & DV we’re talking about. He had 9 yrs to change his ways & improve, but he took me for granted. It’s only now he realises what he’s lost. He made those who loved him most pay for his sins. If people were to ask me, “What’s wrong with him?”, my answer would be simple: ALOT. 

   In his twisted mind, he’ll believe I deserve death for breaking his heart. It’s hard to grasp how abusers come to believe they’re the victim. I also know about the stats for women who take their abusers back. It never ends well. I’ve never heard of even one story where the abuser changes his behaviour, treats his partner like a queen & they live happily ever after. That’s total fantasy & not a good one.

    Even PL is fed up with him bc he refuses to take his antipsychotics, which he clearly needs. At first, she was reluctant for me to see him bc living in a tent isn’t going to impress a girl. It doesn’t matter anymore. I know everything anyway.

   I still care about him, maybe I still love him a little, but I can never take him back. I’m so much happier & free without him. He’s nowhere near ready for a relationship anyway, so I doubt he’ll pressure me to take him back. I’m more worried that he’d rather harm or kill me, than let me walk away again & marry someone else. If he can’t have me, no one else can. At his lowest mental state, he’s unpredictable with what he’s capable of. I offered to come see him, but now I’m afraid to.

   What do you call this kind of love he has for me? It’s not true love, it’s tainted love. He’s a narcissist. He loves himself first & my 2nd. He’s destroying himself bc he’s lost me, but I doubt it’s the only reason. I think it’s also bc his games backfired. He lost me for good & he was forced to look after our child. He thought it would “harmless fun” to punish me for leaving him & paint me as a villain. While I did indeed suffer immensely, he clearly didn’t think ahead bc he wailed to my sister about how he now has to look after our kid bc his games backfired.

   So where do I begin with his plunge into madness & despair? Only weeks before I dumped him in April 2017, he screamed in my right ear, “If you leave me, I will destroy your life & stop you from getting custody!” No one can deny that he had successfully carried out such a threat.

   By July 2017, he & his mum had carried out their threats & their smear campaign against me & succeeded in painting me as the vengeful ex who got dumped, when it was the exact opposite. They also claimed that I was delusional, so CP (Child Protection) should avoid me & not believe a word I say. Being infatuated with him, the women did as they were told.

  I can’t tell you how frustrating it was to ask them to act on anything I said. No matter what I said, it fell on deaf ears. I was literally organising meetings that led nowhere. If he was the one who dumped me, as he claimed, why is he drinking heavily, while I’ve moved on with another man & quitted 3 addictions in a row? I’m not as daft as CP & their accomplices. In fact, I didn’t know what he had been saying about me, until the redneck undercover approached me 1 year(?) later & aggressively made all sorts of incorrect accusations, based on what the bastard had told DHS.

   Narcissistic liars are adept at psychological projection aren’t they? Everything he said about me, was actually about himself. While we were still together, he told me I was a vision of perfection. Even after being together for 9 years, he still couldn’t help saying to me, “You are so beautiful”. He was just staring at my face & said it out of the blue. Those were the good times. Now he was destroying who I really was, just to save himself from abuse allegations & to seek revenge for leaving him. 

   Whatever he did to me, he said I did it. Or he simply made it up. Like when he was facing strangling charges, his crooked lawyer lied that I had assaulted his mother. I’ve never laid a finger on her. His lawyer passed a piece of paper to the judge so he could read the lie but I couldn’t defend myself. I can’t remember his I found out. I think the judge yelled at me & accused me of assault. I was so naiive & timid back then, that I wanted to end this nightmare & just run away. Very unlike me to give up nowadays. But it was then that I realised what kind of man I had been with for 9 yrs. I should’ve known bc it wasn’t the first time, but I chose to ignore it & stay with him bc I loved him unconditionally. But of course, everyone has their limits.

   When he lied about me assaulting his mother, it was the absolute final straw for me, the event horizon of relationships, the point of no return. It wasn’t just about the unforgivable, he literally transformed into a hideous beast when he did that. He threw the only woman he ever loved under a bus just to save himself. I was that revolted by his cowardice, all I saw was a monster, not the handsome man I loved unconditionally anymore.

   I’m not going to lie, he was the most handsome out of all my exes & potential partners & was at least one of the most handsome guys I had ever encountered in person. He looks a lot like actor Tom Hiddleston, roughly same height, eyes & build when we first met too. He was so hot, girls would openly flirt with him in front of me, including my former best friend. She had the nerve to ask me for his number. I’m not kidding. 

   When I confronted her, it became the end of our friendship. Good riddance. What a friend, gaslighting you & calling you a cow for daring to confront her. Despite being best friends for a decade, I realised she’d betray me for a good-looking man. The crazy part was she had a very good looking man herself who was the perfect partner & here she was, coming onto mine. Some people really are greedy.

   Regardless of all the hit-ons & temptations thrown in his face, he stayed loyal to me. He knew he wouldn’t get any better, so why look elsewhere? I’ve never been cheated on, but I can only imagine the pain & suffering of others who must deal with cheating. I thank the Lord that I never had to deal with that, yet. Even after I left him, the only woman he ached for, was me. It was love at first sight for both of us & we were both convinced that we’d be together forever. It didn’t take long for us to fall in love. I never would’ve left him if he didn’t abuse me.

   His lawyer also threatened that if I continue to bring up the strangling, she would make things very difficult for me to get custody. I knew this threat was real bc DHS had been collaborating with his lawyers to give him custody. DHS had stepped over so many boundaries that are considered illegal or unlawful, that they didn’t think anyone noticed that they were actually committing crimes. The case was based on favoritism, not merit. If that was truly the case, I would’ve won & there wouldn’t be much of a story to tell.

   Other than being the ex of their love interest, the women from DHS & Baptcare were also very jealous of my talents (I have supporting evidence) & apparently of my appearance too, so I believe they would’ve done it regardless. And then there’s the suspicion of greed, accepting a bribe from his family. I found out recently that narcissists may appear confident on the outside, but inside they have very low self-esteem & are very jealous people. To not feel this way, they’ll get rid of the ones who make them jealous.

   And they’ll do whatever it takes to get what they want, even if it meant killing someone. People mistaken me for being a narcissist bc I openly speak positively about myself. No, it’s more so self-love than narcissism. But even self-love is still frowned upon by those who can’t relate or understand the concept. If I truly was narcissistic, I’d always put myself first, even before my child & think number 1 is so important. In fact, I don’t display the typical traits of a true narcissist. For example, I don’t get jealous easily & I don’t do whatever it takes to seek revenge, for the petty reasons. Seeking justice is not the same. The true narcissists here were my ex, his mum & the suspects.

   The scandal was intensified by the women’s inappropriate behaviour towards him. They remind me of groupies. He seemed oblivious to their flirtatious gestures & just used them, hoping to make me jealous. They were supposed to be supervising us, not turning the court into a harem.

   With his handsome features & 6 ft 2 height, he effortlessly swooned the women at DHS & Baptcare into exacting revenge against the woman who broke his heart. And boy, did they put on a show in front of my family! He was overweight at the time too, yet he still managed to pull it off. I’m the one who left him & was in a relationship too, so I definitely wasn’t jealous, but both mum & I agree that it was incredibly inappropriate & annoying to watch these women openly flirt with him. 

   Though he kept up appearances in front of DHS, at home his mental state was declining. He bought an R-rated game called the Sadistic Poker Game. When I agreed to spend the weekend with him in July 2017, I watched with concern as he gleefully chopped off his opponent’s fingers & electrocuted them, just for getting a maths problem wrong. Ever since I left him, he was plunging into utter darkness. All that was left in his heart was hatred, revenge & sadism.

   After setting me up with the police just for confronting him about his drug use that weekend, it was the final straw & I never hung with him ever again. But he still hung onto hope that I’d come back to him. He simply didn’t get that his actions were now unforgivable & there was no going back. Not yet he didn’t understand, until he found out about my current partner & that I was enrolling in university. I had happily moved on & it tore him in half.

   Furthermore, I made it clear to him that there will never be any forgiveness, even more so for his borderline mother who relentlessly carried out her threats as though I was her sworn enemy. She’s mine now. Trouble was only just starting at DHS. For weeks, I simply couldn’t focus on my lectures at university. I sat through class, unable to take anything in, filled with worries about custody & couldn’t understand why I was being treated so unfairly. I knew I couldn’t focus on my degree again until the case was over. I ended up getting a medical certificate to defer from university for at least a year.

   Little did I know that this ordeal would drag on for another 7 yrs bc I was kept drugged for so long & it became clear that someone in a position of power kept telling the hospitals to not help me. There’s no way I’m going to let their accomplices talk their way out. But oh well, if they didn’t help me, then what can they possibly argue about? You either helped me, or you didn’t. It is a serious crime & I hope some of them go to prison & lose their jobs.

   And they’re going to have to face my wrath in court soon. I can only afford them the same amount of mercy that they had afforded me. Honestly, I’m looking forward to facing every single one of them. I love tearing bad people apart. DHS & their crooked undercovers had done so many terrible things to me, that they couldn’t afford to let their sadistic crimes come to light. They have a long history of poisoning & incapacitating me too.

   The sadistic game my ex played was based on the famous controversial Milgram Experiment, aka the Evil Experiment. It’s well known in the Psychology world, so I immediately recognised the similarities. The results were disturbing: When relieved of responsibility from someone in a position of authority, a whopping 60% of actual test subjects were willing to electrocute to death the presumed subject JUST FOR GETTING A MATHS ANSWER WRONG.

  This suggests that some people do indeed have a tendency for evil & will kill if they knew they could get away with it. WW2 demonstrated it, which was how the experiment came about. Some experts argue that the experiment was more about obedience, than whether people are truly evil. I think both arguments are valid & the answer is a combination of both.

   This scandal demonstrated both arguments. It explains why so many people knowingly put me through such unimaginable suffering & denied me medical & police assistance. The chairman had promised them that they’d never face justice for their crimes. I also witnessed for myself how evil DHS could be whenever I made a perceived mistake.

   If I didn’t make any, they made it up so they could deny me custody. PG even removed my parental rights by applying for Ward of the State (Nov 2017). That way, I couldn’t oppose his evil plans. It was the first known blatant abuse of power, although I had many suspicions beforehand. 6 months later, I busted him in the May 2018 contest for lying when I asked him for CCTV footage of his claim that he had to constantly remind me to change nappies. He looked like a deer who was about to get run over.